yi-ge-ren-alone

2008-10-09T23:26:00.002+08:00

once you've mastered the way to do an emotional handstand,
all the tears that were supposed to flow out, flows back in.
& you become stronger :D

sensitive, no more.
oblivious, that is.

anyway, ITS OPEN HOUSE TOMORROW! :DD
&i'm a tour guide!
(but i have no idea where zen garden is >< )

went to vivo after school with yiting.
SAW REALLY CUTE HAMSTERS!
& scary looking dogs(i'm sorry, but they really looked scary)
i hope i get my hamster soon, although i've no idea what to name it D:

2008-10-07T00:15:00.004+08:00

lucky girl :DD

i thought things would change (for the better) after exams.
i wasn't wrong. just not accurate enough,
unless you take away the bracket.

/sh, you gotta be really strong this time round:D

2008-10-03T11:43:00.005+08:00

cos words just cant describe how mad/insane we've become.

people,

ITS POST-EXAMS SEASON :D

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know youre unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

Oh baby bring on the pain

And listen to the thunder

& so what if i say.
what would it equate to?
math error, syntax error, or zero?

i dont know what to expect.
*presses[SHIFT][AC]*

they say its self-defence mechanism, i call it fear.

2008-09-29T22:40:00.000+08:00

-SH \ says:
your dp is quite dumb -.-

-SH \ says:
HAHAH

-SH \ says:
looks so -.-

^f[l]oor says:
HAHA

^f[l]oor says:
dont they look theyre they on serious business

^f[l]oor says:
studying

^f[l]oor says:
i meant for it to look like that

-SH \ says:
OMG

-SH \ says:
OBVIOUSLY THEY DONT.

^f[l]oor says:
they do!

^f[l]oor says:
specially spongebob

^f[l]oor says:
with the nerd specs!

-SH \ says:
LOL. YOU WIN ALR LA DEAR.

LOVES!
dear, you made my day too! (:

2008-09-28T20:20:00.001+08:00

i'm lazy to re-type my august16th post.
its exactly how i feel now.

but this time round,
i'm really escaping.

so, make way for me.
please.

TWO MORE PAPERS.

2008-09-24T18:41:00.003+08:00

one down, four more to go. WE CAN DO IT! :D

gp paper today was ):
i was SO HUMOURED when they mentioned that WINNE THE POOH is suffering from hyperactivity, binge eating, & worse still ---- bear with small brains -.- WAHLAO. (my winnie the pooh waterbottle was sitting right underneathe my chair)

i like the compre passage, despite it being SO LONG.
therapies dont work on everyone.
we, eventually have to work things out, ourselves.
disclosure can be detrimental.

after much persuasion plus reminders from classmates
I'M ACTUALLY READING THROUGH ELASTICITY CONCEPTS. gosh, so confusing please.

ECONS PAPER TOMORROW
people, lets zam market failure, market structure & elasticities okay!

i dk why i'm so high.

why do we ask questions when we knew the answers?
because we're in desperate need for confirmation.

& most of the times,
we just want to know if people tell you the truth.
sighs.

2008-09-22T21:57:00.001+08:00

'THE WATER STORY' POSTED ON THE EMB :D enjoy!

Once, there is a man who got lost in the famous Sahara desert(don’t ask me why Sahara?), he ran out of water. While he was trying very desperately to get help in the deserted desert(cant think of a better word to describe desert), he saw a salesman, as he approached the salesman with hope, he asked if he has water to sell? he was disappointed to realize that the salesman only sell necktie. “Why on earth I need a necktie in this desert now? ALL I need is WATER now!!!” He thought to himself and moved on. After a while, he met another salesman, strange enough, the second salesman also only sell necktie.(Sometimes in life, strange things happen!) He moved on without buying the necktie, Water was what he want and nothing else. This happened for the third and forth times. (Sometimes in life, strange things happen again and again!) And by then, he was dying. As he crawled and crawled (no energy to walk, don’t believe? Go to a desert and try) , he saw a hotel … he was very relief and quickly picked himself up and moved towards the hotel. At the entrance, he was stopped by the doorman of the hotel and the doorman said:” Sorry, sir, I cant let you in”. “Why NOT?” he asked. “ We wont let anyone without wearing a necktie to go in..."

Morale of the story: Sometimes (in fact most of the times), we know what we want, we stay so focus that we neglect (or ignore) other things that appear not important to us until one day when we realize it, it is too late.

To all of you: doing well in your study is definitely very important at this moment of your life, but please do not neglect many other things in your life which you will find them useful too in the future.

2008-09-20T22:35:00.002+08:00

relative of approach = relative speed of separation.

i never understood dynamics D:
its one of my worst topics in phyiscs.
, until i came across this.

let the ice melt,
& so none of us would have to break it.

2008-09-17T01:01:00.005+08:00

there are some days where we just wished we had the entire pond to ourselves.

if you only had one coin,

what wish would you make?

2008-09-08T23:58:00.004+08:00

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
if this is what you want, i'll give you.

seriously, i don't know what you/you want.
how/what do you expect me to react to this/that?
i've enough of crying.

shall heed mr how's advice to sleep early.
BYEWORLD :D
hear the shatter, hear it man.

2008-09-03T17:49:00.004+08:00

嘀嗒嘀听天空在哭泣

rainy days are getting on my nerves, seriously D:
pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease dont rain this saturday alrights?

was supposed to insert a smiley face in this post, an indication that everything's perfectly fine. but i cant bring myself to do it, because each smile is inching towards a tear. its raining inside & outside. i turned off the phone's vibration, because i know it wont vibrate anyway (anymore). can someone tell me how to stop crying, when everything's hurting so bad? 我真的很想变坚强，但是真的很难。

一场雨狠狠下在眼睛里

studystudystudy.
what else am i capable of?
sometimes i ask.

2008-08-28T00:06:00.000+08:00

rational thinking not equals rational action.

life feels like a rollercoaster ride right now.
& currently, i'm at the 360degree turn.
totally flipped upside down.

i'll pray hard that there's still normal contact force.
and that the initial velocity is greater than square root (gh)
hopefully, everything will soon be settled.

2008-08-23T11:03:00.005+08:00

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

had our last "chem consulation" with Mr Tan yesterday.
i cried when i read the "pencil story" that he gave us.
& the reality started to sink in, that he is leaving.

one of the most patient/motivating/encouragaing/NIAO
teacher i've ever met.

the first day when he took our class, i thought i will die.
cos he's a really serious teacher! NO JOKE.
& he kept picking on me during practicals! (esp titration)
"DID YOU MISS OUT SOMETHING? CHECK AGAIN."
i took out my white tile.
"YOU SURE THATS ALL?"
*fumbles around*
& then quickly remove my funnel from the burette.

i still remember the first time i went for consulation,
we did chemical bonding. i was clueless about everything.
he looked disappointed, and i felt really bad&guilty.
after i left the consultation area, i felt as if i just had 3 solid hours of chemical bonding lecture. (when the consultation only lasted for 45 minutes)

MR TAN! you're so you! (seriously)
yesterday farewell cum "consulation", we ordered pizza.
& gave him the card. he was UMM-CHIO-ING!
(& i we felt that he was on the brink of tears! haha!)

when eveyone started walking into the classroom, while we're having "consulation"
he was like :
"你们欺骗我的感情！"

HAHAHAHAHAHA! :D

he said alot of other stuff too! (when we're having fun)
"don't make so much nosie okay,
your seniors studying next door"

"remember not to dirty the classroom ah"

"GO HOME & STUDY HOR"

very work-orientated, & serious!
even when the time doesnt call for it!

overheard someone (i cant remember who) saying this:
"If Olympics had the best teacher award,
you will help singapore win a GOLD MEDAL. "
i thought it was really meaningful&sweet :D

FAREWELL MR TAN!
all the best in your ANTI-CANCER research in France!

2008-08-16T06:45:00.005+08:00

i dont know if you would be reading this.
well, maybe even if you do,
you might not know that i'm referring to you.
i just want to say that i'm really sorry.
sorry for retreating, sorry for escaping, sorry for avoiding.

& that you're great person.

我怕爱得很深，心会疼

i feel like dissecting my heart,
& removing the shattered pieces.

hopefully, with the fragments thats left,

~~i can survive another day.~~

2008-08-14T21:15:00.004+08:00

this is ultra random.
haven been blogging (again)
recently, i feel a little stressed D:
only a few more
weeks to go, before its PROMOS!
actually, i'm supposed to be studying for econs now.
wahahahahaha!
anyway, i think i should blog like this more often.
yesterday is
the past already. we should learn when to
hold on, and when to let go when the time
eventually asks for it.
losing & giving it away is
obviously two issues altogether.
very well.
evidently, its more than meets the eye.

it takes more than just reading it.
i'm sure i'm coherent.

i need(s) mrcale.

2008-08-09T11:54:00.002+08:00

我的家收藏
我的欢喜悲伤
只要点燃希望
梦就会自由飞翔

我的家给我
一双坚定翅膀
我的梦不论在何方
一生的爱唯有家

my daddy&mummy are glued to the TV, seriously.
watching the preliminaries of the olympic games -.-
& my daddy's insisting that we should order Macs, so we can start to collect all the FUWAs.
ITS NATIONAL DAY!
but my mum openly declares that she is more into olympic games.

):
i aint going out today.
no fireworks.
no "WHERE I BELONG, WHERE I KEEP MY HEART & SOUL"
no crazy crowds.

just me & the TV,
trying to get high.

2008-08-04T19:28:00.003+08:00

its breeding mosquitoes in here already! XD

& gwee shall be the inspector who checks on the stagnant water!
HAPPY BIRHTDAY MY DEAR :DDD
LOVES MANY MANY!
hope you like the card, headphones & the GAY PAPER BAG!

went back to nanyang after school with ms gwee,
was supposed to meet lydia at island lah! but we decided we're too full.
so we went back to ny, crapped (as usual) and listened to HAPPY SONGS!
SAW MAYCHEW COACHING!
went island with sharlene,cheryn,minhui&lydia.
& everyone thinks i am blur and stupid D: which is so not the case okay!
I WANT TO WATCH NDP, I WANT I WANT! :DDD

I MISS EVERYONE ):

i need to buck up on schoolwork, cause i've been dao-ing them for quite sometime alr! & promos sounded really scary man D:

if this is what you think, then again, you dont know me well enough.

2008-07-26T08:44:00.003+08:00

i've decided, to be an anti-enviromentalist.
cause i'll go ahead with deforestation.

without trees,
AIYAH, i dont know what to say.

it just means,
i dont want to love you anymore.

2008-07-20T22:00:00.002+08:00

i guess, we need a break. a mental one.
well, at least for me.

my hair's bad. VERY BAD. .

anyway, i forwarded your message to my heart alr.
&my heart says she can take it.

2008-07-16T22:42:00.002+08:00

songs to listen after block tests:
OVER YOU
BAD DAY
SAY ITS ISN'T SO
WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS

songs NOT to listen after block tests:
COS I CANT HELP FALLIN IN LOVE WITH YOU
THERE YOU'LL BE
I BELIEVE IN YOU
NEVER LET YOU GO
BECAUSE YOU LIVE

RAH. i am being damm random.
i'm wide awake, but tired inside.

why must i see you today?
spoil everything.

2008-07-11T19:03:00.015+08:00

hey blog, havent been updating for a couple of days. life's been a little different, somehow. or that i am just thinking too much & giving myself unwanted pressure. i'm glad that i have sorted out some of my feelings & i cant wait for the day when i finally get to let go of everything. here's the pictures which are long overdue! :D

TADA :DDDD

got tricked by classmates in the physics lab!

(looks at pearlynne)

i almost forgot to make a wishhhh!

HAHA! I LOOK SO -.- (mr how's face is cut off!)

huiyi,pearlynne,suikim,melissa&ros!

(its a guzheng! quote pearlynne. HAHA)

its really really niceee :D

I LOVE YOU GUYS THIS MUCH!

(gwee,gwen,eleanor,desiree&huiyi)

FOUNTAIN PEN from my brother!

it makes me feel VERY INTELLIENT :DD

&the super-nice-to-hug dog :D

THANYOU to everyone who made it so memorable&sweet. you know, somethings can just keep you smiling & smiling even when you feel so down inside. its how special those moments were. loves. thinking back, last year's birthday was really scary. HAHA.

如果我爱上你的笑容

要怎么收藏要怎么拥有

如果你快乐不是为我

会不会放手其实才是拥有

才发现笑着哭最痛 D:

2008-06-29T22:04:00.002+08:00

i dont know if i should watch the euro finals later. not in favour of either of them ): i want my PORTUGAL! ohwells. i still remember, i cried quite badly when portugal lost to greece in the euro finals four years ago. mellissa & i were so dramatic the next day man! we cursed&sweared to express our grief plus hatred. HAHA! it was so memorable....

& that was four years ago.
where i was still in ny classroom block, level three.

你曾住在我心上
现在空了一个地方

2008-06-22T22:05:00.003+08:00

JIA ~~YOU~~ A's

FOR BLOCKS!

i don't want U's DD:

2008-06-20T21:19:00.014+08:00

if i could accelerate towards u

i wouldnt let anyone come between us,

except L .

ILU :D

studying at venezia was nothing but LOVES!
actually, we didnt really study(arent we guilty?!)

instead we binged, camwhored

& gwen tried to seduce me!(but to no avail)

talked about random stuffs & i was damm happy when gwen said that if i were to be a guy, three of them would fight for me! -.- LOL. see lahh, i told you.

i can be a nice boyfriend luh :D

6 MORE DAYS TO END OF BLOCK TESTS!
(aint i optimistic?) :D

TO YOU,
EVERYTIME THAT YOU SEE YOUR SHADOW,
YOU KNOW THE SUN'S STILL SHINNING.
OVERLOOKING YOU, WITH WARMTH&COMFORT.

2008-06-15T11:59:00.002+08:00

OMG, i just woke up (its 1130am now)
had a great fun at huiyu's 21st birthday party! :DD
sorry that we left at 4am D:
hope you like our presents!
THE 3VIDEOS, BANNER, FLOWERS, MONEY TROPHY, & the BOARD!
YOU KNOW WE LOVE YOU RIGHT! :DD

photos another day maybe XD

日子像旋转木马在脑海里转不停
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎么美丽也只能是曾经

太美的承诺因为太年轻
就像是精灵住错了森林
那爱情错得很透明

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心

你会发现你会讶异

你是我最压抑

最深处的秘密

2008-06-04T20:55:00.002+08:00

they say that somethings don't last.
& just when i thought we're the other things,
everything's gone D:

tuition was great today :DD
we did more questions, & he understood my explanations. YAYE.

if money can buy time,
i'll do anything to retrieve all the memories.

if money can buy an effective eraser,
i'll do anything to erase all the memories.

you see, i don't know what i want D:
because everything's just too screwed.
way screwed.

wanted to do some revision to stop myself from thinking.it failed, cause i cant help but keep thinking, to the extend that i cant concentrate. so i've been doing nothing, but thinking. so dumb.

ohshit, i'm so incoherent D:

tomorrow's going to be a suny yellow banana day :D i promise myself. it just has to stop raining, right?

2008-06-03T19:53:00.000+08:00

i wished i could escape.
then i thought, where to?

2008-06-02T22:12:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUIYI :D

i miss everyone, especially us!

OKAY, i think i'm tired.
dont want to think about whats happening alr.
or rather, whats alr happening.

ANYWAY, gwee just sent me 超喜欢你 :DDD

it still has the ability to work miracles on me lah.

SUPER/ULTRA HIGH. ANTI-EMO THOUGHTS :DD

2008-05-31T11:21:00.005+08:00

the entire week was spent at home D: not that its like a REALLY bad thing, just that its super no life lah. went over to my cousin's house on wednesday to commemorate my grandmother's 14th death anniversary. i was the only member (other than zhikai who has no lessons that day) from our COUSIN GANG ): okay, i have to admit, i was sad. the rest of my cousins who came over were the small kids who are having school holiday. time flies man, we're (the gang) all growing older, and getting too busy for one another alr D: i'm looking forward to huiyu's 21st birthday celebration, and also the gift preparation days :DD

just a random picture :D

i feel so guilty, if thats the word. i havent been doing anything for my parents on mothers day, fathers day, not even their birthdays D: what kind child am i? do i even deserve the love/concern they shower me with? & all this while, i've been focusing what to give others on friendship day, birthdays and occasional gifts & letters. i forgot about them totally. not that giving them a super expensive gift can show how much i love them, but the mere effort of getting them something/or just doing something, can make a big difference. sorry papa&mama.

beyond love.

2008-05-29T00:30:00.003+08:00

how MVs can make me cry D:
爱情怎么会让每颗心都碎

2008-05-27T18:45:00.003+08:00

food poisoning has taken a toll on me(again)
today started out fine UNTIL i stupidly ate coco-crunch with milk for breakfast D: last night was equally bad too, uneasy feeling in the stomach.

harmonica concert was good :DD i like the songs they play! & the emcees are quite amusing and engaging. oh, did i mention? i watched the concert alone, haha.

aiyah, i think i'm losing it.

2008-05-23T18:01:00.004+08:00

i dont understand why that could make me cry, eventhough it has nothing to do with me, and knowing that crying doesn't help anything. perhaps all these while, you still have a special place inside of me. happy birthday (:

i think i will be missing a lot of people this holiday.
~~now you,~~ and then another you.

maybe, its all a facade. so its true, about what was never the truth. those tears shed, that you never saw.
why did i read it? now that its hurting so bad.

2008-05-19T21:58:00.004+08:00

last week of school(:
its going to be a HIONG week, with so many things due.

.-- .... .- - / .. ..-. / .. / ... .- -.-- / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / -- -.-- / --. --- .- .-.. ..--.. can i? (i cant) should i? (i shouldnt) is it right? (NO.)

i'm the foolish one.
not you lah ><

2008-05-17T19:47:00.002+08:00

on thursday, i tutored Rosabel. she was only primary five, eleven years old. the age most of us wished we could go back to, the age we thought all was innocent&pure. she looked sad, there was no joy in her, no burst of enthusiasm. & so i jokingly asked her to rate her happiness on a scale of 1-10. she said 5, and i was really taken aback. she then told me about how her emotions were affected by her friendships and academic performance, that she even consulted in the school counsellor. you know, i am still shocked.

looking back, i'm glad i enjoyed every bit of primary school life.
despite countless perfect's bookings, and Mrs Tang's scolding.

多久没有说我爱你
多久没有拥抱你所爱的人
当这个世界不在那么美好
只有爱可以让他更好
我相信一切都来得及
别管那些纷纷扰扰
别让不开心的事停下了脚步
就怕你不说就怕你不做
别让遗憾继续一切都来得及

2008-05-14T23:49:00.001+08:00

:D

that felt so good.
if only i could tell you. (or even show my happiness)

2008-05-11T13:04:00.010+08:00

the reason i gave, to stay a little while longer

cos you'll be in my heart x33

the 战台风&不能说的秘密 players with chongmin! (:

the SUPER CUTE sec ones plus emcees!

and us! SECFOUR OH SEVEN (:

the ermm clever 'invention' by my junior.

(attaching a watch to the shoe, cos we arent allowed watches during performances) -.-

me with stupid's owner & chengxin!

i dont know how to pen(type) down my feelings. its just so .... .... so empty inside me now. i didnt want the concert day to come, because there isnt any excuse i can give to go back to nanyang after this. seems like, we're going to go separate ways now. you dont know how it feels, to be in this. you dont know. there's many things running through my mind now. everything's gone in a flash, everything ended when the last note was played, everything ended when we gave each other goodbye hugs, everything ended just like that.

somethings were out of my expectations, and i should be grateful for them.

sorry to EleanorGwenGwee for not spotting you guys in the audience seats despite you all waving at me): i didnt dare to look at the audience, i was looking into blank space and the second floor of the auditorium. for the first time, i didnt dare to look at the audience before i play. i'm glad i didnt, if not i wouldnt have mangaged to stay focused. the same thing occurred again, and i must say i was mentally prepared for it. but, i am still confusing myself.

告诉我，我应该怎么做才能忘记。

2008-05-04T02:41:00.005+08:00

its 3am now & there are many things on my mind.

guzheng concert on 10 may :D
will you give me a flower?
or should i ask, would you even be there? .
memories & more memories.
i dont know whether to hate or love them anymore.

honestly, i cant describe this feeling.
lost/loss/empty/alone/silent/piercing/wilting/weak/
incapable/detached/meaningless/hysterical/moodswings/speechless.
i just cant string them into one word.

我必须坚持放弃

2008-05-01T00:00:00.003+08:00

we had combined sports meet with nanyang today(:

it started out bad---first thing in the morning, on the way to the grand stand. honestly, i didnt know what to do, how to react, & worse still-- i didnt know why i was feeling THAT way. sunken feeling. so near & yet so far. such a long long time ago, but it seemed just like yesterday. RAHH, i want to kill myself for being like this D:

spent the entire sports meet with lydia&ruth (: we're roaming about the area above the grand stand. attempted to have a heart t0 heart talk, but failed(as usual). cos the environment/sun/crowd, was quite distracting & we're made lethargic by the heat. anyway, went back to nanyang after csm to help out with guzheng practice. (aiyah, i didnt do anything to help actually, just being pure distracting right.)

my chemistry class test -----36/100 . tell me, TO WHAT EXTENT am i screwed for the lecture test on monday? ): TO A LARGE EXTENT (no need for balanced arguement)

2008-04-26T01:11:00.004+08:00

生病了 ):

i really hope to see more involvement, in everyone of them. because no one can fight the battle alone, not even the greatest/strongest. it hurts to see a few trying so hard(pushing themselves to their limits), while some can be slacking off (without feeling guilty at all). i recalled how chaotic the situation had been for me last year. there wasn't time for more than 4 hour sleep per day, there wasn't time to stop to think whether or not all this was worth it. there wasn't time, all i knew was, i cannot stop. there was concert administrative work, pressure/stress as an sl (& having to play solo parts when my playing is D: ), class issues, and last but not least all the expectations related to academics. i really don't see why, that the minimal effort required can be such an uphill task for some, seriously.

i wished i could do something about this.
but i'm at a loss of what to say/do.

perhaps its a hurdle that the batch has to go through, together.

its supposed to be a slack week ahead (: but i feel damm stressed! maybe cos i have yet to ~~complete~~ start on the tutorials, and i can feel myself not being able to follow the lectures (especially for chemistry&physics, and thats because we didnt have math lectures this week) chemistry class test is a l fail l, which equates to absolute failure. confirm, 100% fail ): SIANN.

in the midst of trying to make myself feel better,i found this!
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

HAHA! yes i know, i am always trying to justify myself.

2008-04-21T18:51:00.002+08:00

she's right. whats all the talk about letting go&cutting my hair, when my mind&actions doesn't correspond? i really shouldnt go. (i cant make it anyway, unless i pon gp lesson) even if i can make it, its only the last few minutes. & i've never made a difference with my presence. isn't it? ~~fuck, that hurts.~~

i wish that my birthday wish last year,
would come true one year later.

jiayou.

2008-04-18T19:54:00.002+08:00

you might think i am crazy, and i would agree with you.
i chopped off my hair today :D
it is quite short and looks really weird on me, & i dont know how to face the world tomorrow! there's guzheng practice, cip math tuition & FACULTY OUTING! ohno D: maybe i should go buy a cap, since i've always wanted one. RAHHHH.

it was quite an hasty decision. cos linls told me that she lost necklace recently, & went to dye her hair red. so perhaps the idea of cutting my hair & allowing myself to let go of certain things came to my mind. i just want a fresh start, without y/ on my mind, just like how my hair isnt on me anymore.

放不下的，终究还是会放得下 (:

2008-04-13T19:01:00.024+08:00

it dawned upon me today, about whether or not i believe in destiny

. if my parents didnt meet each other, i dont know where i would be.
. how my psle score just meet the cut off for nanyang.
. almost didnt make it into guzheng (filled in the cca application form wrongly)
. met ms yeo(math teacher) who spurred me on
. applied for psl&got in. though i wasn't fully committed in being a psl, trust me, it turned my life 360degrees. if & only if i was not assigned to /or i was sick/or i didnt get in. i probably would not feel so loser right now. (if you dont understand, skip)
. gave up on what i loved, & I never thought i would ever let go of. at that point of time, i thought i made the right decision, but it turned out not to be.
. made guzheng vp, boosted a lil of my confidence & was actively involved in concert&syf. was under a lot of stress, but everything was worth it.
. class monitress was quite a failure lah): didnt manage the class well. and up till this day, i am still guilty of not putting in 100% into class matters. just wanna say sorry to 403'o7.
. made it into hwachong cause they implemented ip. (i am almost 100 percent sure that if i wasn't in ny, i wouldn't have a chance to step into this college)
. changed my subject combination from bcme to pcme at the very very last minute. so i guess i wouldnt be in 08s6c/athena (& get to meet my current classmates) IF i held on to biology. (i was 100 percent sure i was going to give up on physics in secondary four. you know, life's quite unpredicatable at times)

destiny or not, i am not exactly sure.
but for now, my understanding is that destiny created us & we create our destiny by living. though the phrase "creating your own destiny" is ironic to a certain extent, but if you just sit in your room & starve yourself to death--- having a destiny doesnt save you from dying (i guess)

however, some people would be sent to the hospital before they die. (shit, i just contradicted myself) so in conclusion, destiny is a word(or an ideology) that keeps your mind off the things that are bothering you right now (like tomorrow's math test) .

i miss nanyang):

a part of me wished i never knew you. & a part of me is grateful towards fate, that we met. i always wondered how my life would have turned out if point5 never occured. how different things would have been for you&me. i'm sorry if i ever caused you any distress, i swear with my heart i didnt mean a single of it. i wished i never --, but i couldnt help it. many people have tried persuading/comforting me to get out of this, its not that i dont want to, really. i tried a thousand hundred times, but it failed. Because you meant so much, so much more than myself.

for that,

i will try another thousand hundred times, until i get over y/

2008-04-11T19:57:00.003+08:00

i ~~think i~~ am jealous.
about what exactly if you ask, i dont know it either.
its just a sour feeling that sinks your heart,
right down to the bottom.

i hope i know what i am doing, seriously.

eleanor had popiah craving today (: so we went to coro for popiah! the holy mama made my day today, thankyou. haha! i know what's wrong with me, so i guess its really isnt that bad lah. so the both of us are currently on an important mission. actually, its more of an urgent mission for my case, nevermind. & get well soon gwen! you aren't supposed to be reading this cos you promised to get plenty of rest.

if you're the river, i wished i were the bridge.
so then, i can convince myself that i'm over you.

2008-04-09T19:45:00.002+08:00

waited & waited for 45mins, outside nanyang. i thought i was giving myself one last chance, but apparently it was disappointment and nothing else. just stood there, looking at the buses come and leave the bus stop. occasionally, stealing glances through the gate, silently hoping for a miracle. you may think i am stupid, i can only say that you're not wrong.

feel so weak. i think i've lost the ability to express how i feel. for some reason, i feel very detached from the entire world. i dont know whatever that's going on, & i'm acting like i dont care/dont want to know. this feeling is horrible, because it just equates to being unimportant& insignificant.

i'm sorry, but my smile has to take leave for today.
let me cry my lungs out.

2008-04-07T19:42:00.002+08:00

i think i really should get started on what i should be doing. there's a long long list of things to be done, and i must stop procrastinating. go me!

& quit thinking about ~~you~~ everything :D
because i cant change the way it is, i'll accept.

2008-04-05T17:19:00.002+08:00

my ear's hurting like nobody's business. the pain doesn't go away at all, and occasionally, there will be a needle-like pressing pain that just makes me feel like chopping off my ear. i cant stand it. its making me lose concentration during lectures, tutorials, guzheng, & every other thing i can think of. its not funny at all please. i cant hear properly, so i have to lip-read.

its not going to go away until wednesday. where i'll be going for the ear syringing):
sucks big time.

2008-04-02T20:30:00.001+08:00

what makes you smile the most, triggers your tears the hardest.

i want to think i am alright,
so i can be alright.

2008-04-01T19:33:00.005+08:00

wishing that it would still be april 1st when i wake up tomorrow, & that everything was just a bad nightmare.

sometimes when you feel that the world has given up on you,
you realise what keeps you going(:

thankyou EGG for the hugs, shoulders, comfort & presence.
& everyone out there who cheered me on!

i love my mum, though she wont see this.
every word she says is just so powerful & meaningful.

被毛毛虫认定为的末日，我们称它为蝴蝶
disappointment can be painful, so can it be strength.
dont worry, the smile will always be there :DD
give me sometime, i promise.

2008-03-30T15:24:00.002+08:00

不想再想了

虽然大家都说路程比终点重要，但谁不想到达终点呢？当只有一部分的人能到达终点，路程顿时显得很艰难。但愿 "the best man win the race" (不知道怎么翻译-.-)

我会一直勇敢地走下去，
相信就算没有到达梦寐以求的终点，
路程还是精彩的。
至少曾经努力奋斗，勇往直前，向梦想迈进。

也许，每个终点都有不同的惊喜。
而每一个终点将会是一个新的开始(:

2008-03-29T08:35:00.004+08:00

yesterday was a LONGGGG day in school!

first up was council meet the faculty session (: some of the videos were really REALLY cute&hilarious. everyone was like laughing their heads off. i like this feeling, this feeling of pure joy, maybe? its seldom that we can watch people do silly things and start laughing, because most of the time in reality, we hide our emotions, afraid to hurt the other party. (oh, i am side-tracking already) then it was OUR TURN! i was trembling when i gave my speech, but it got better when i started on my third sentence. HAHA! because there's around 20 minutes before we were released for our break, WE HAD TO SING ON STAGE! & it so happens that i am the sixth person standing on the left of the stage, so i was the first to sing. JAYCHOU x3333

stayed back after school to wait for my mum. we did all sorts of random stuff like attempting to eat the watermelon from RUNNING FOR COUNCIL! it tasted fine, just that it wasnt chilled. didnt get to finish the entire watermelon, cos they said i was starting to eat really unglamly -.- sat down to talk about random stuffs, & i got TRICKED a FEW times, straight in a row! RAHHH. i'm not blur please!(: then we played the McDonald aka ZI HIGH game, super duper hilarious! mama came, and met Mr How. he said i was kai xiin guo :DDD WAHAHA!

oh! there's alot to be done over this weekend, i better get started!(: VAAAA--VOOOOM!

a random quote i chanced upon:
if you cannot repair your brakes, make your horn louder.
CUTE RIGHT! (:

2008-03-26T20:32:00.003+08:00

did MASSIVE painting today! (:
& i've yet to bathe, so i am currently stinking of poster colours from head to toe! there are like lots of random colours on my feet, arms and worse, my clothes): but i'm happy i managed to finish it given so little time. ONE CLAP TO ME!

when one drop of black ink falls into the yellow portion,
everything turns dark almost immediately.
because black is the darkest colour one can ever find,
no matter how much of yellow colour is added, it can never outweigh the black.

just like how a bad news , can dampen one's spirit.
regardless of how great she has been feeling

I WANT TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF!
because its all that matters(:

2008-03-24T17:47:00.013+08:00

24 march holds way too much memories for me(:
& i'm super lousy with words.

i miss everything about the concert
(including the stressed up period)
i miss everyone ): laoshi&juniors.

today:
we lost & found our campaign banner! PHEWWW.
& i realised that i wasn't as strong as i'd thought):

2008-03-21T16:12:00.004+08:00

there are no short cuts to any place worth going.

i think the cocoons in my stomach are starting to build up, and sooner or later they will become butterflies. apprehensive, but enjoying every second of it. made friends & learnt many valuable lessons. understood more about the people around me & their values, and last but not least, i disovered myself for who i am.

I’m excited.
Although I really don’t know what I’m going to do when i grow up. Although I don’t know what I want to achieve in my life (other than being a mother of four) But at least I know what gets me excited now. & i think its a good start.

because love keeps us going

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will.
---Epictetus

2008-03-17T16:46:00.007+08:00

i must admit that it was ~~quite~~ hurtful. wake up call maybe? nah, i wont let this bring me down(: there's still a long long way to go right?! i dont want to be someone whom i am not, cos i am happy the way i am. take it or leave it.

am i really, so idiotic (quoted) ? ):
maybe thats because you dont know the serious side of me, yet. but it so freaking hurts.

sometimes i really wished that i could cry,
& let out all my emotions.

rah. dont want think about it le): i'm going to drop the glass of water from my hands! (: so i wont make myself miserable. HAHA!

PEARLYNNE! x33333333

it would have been better if i crossed my eye >.<

HEART HEART! cheer up girl! (:

2008-03-14T22:25:00.005+08:00

I THINK I'M (SERIOUSLY) IN LOVE! (:

HIRO! x33333

你曾经幸福吗？

2008-03-13T23:11:00.003+08:00

today wasn't such a productive day as i thought it would be ): ohwells. dont wanna get upset/emotional over it, because its not worth it.

when life give you lemon,
insisting on making apple juice will get you nowhere.

i'm trying really hard to keep my spirits high.
& to keep the momentum going.

i just dont want to show my disappointment

2008-03-11T21:53:00.005+08:00

心里有一种渴望勇敢的念头，
不要爱我的人再担心我(:

this spectrum of colours i see, tells me we dont't always have to look up to the sky in search for rainbow.

now that all the anticipation is gone): i cant attend my brother's passing out ceremony tomorrow. they only gave two ticket to each NS guy. RAHHH. STUPID.

2008-03-10T19:19:00.004+08:00

sometimes in life, we don't always get what we want.

for that every ever other time,
its when you dont really know what you want.

my afternoon nap today turned out to be a 4hour sleep ): & i've been dreaming about the same dream over and over again for three consecutive days. maybe i should sleep again(:

though i'm not a liverpool fan,

liking him wont hurt manU right? (:

2008-03-06T17:43:00.003+08:00

sometimes i really wonder.
whether we convince ourselves as to how we feel ,
or that our feeling convinces us.

the convinced feeling
as if we repeatedly tell ourselves that we're supposed to feel this way, allowing it to grow. at the end of the day, we doubt if its genuine or not.

i'm muddled.
say it only when you mean it, i guess.

2008-03-05T19:15:00.003+08:00

a little apprehensive, but life goes on (:

i really hope i can, & i will.
my BIG dream!

the pursuit has just begun.

A-level results to be released on friday.
SCARYY right! whoops, i shouldnt be the one who's freaking out. JIAYOU to my brother, & everyone's who's collecting their results.

AIYOH YOH. now that the secthrees has gone to OBS & the secfours to graces camp, very few people are online ): AWWWWWW! i want to crash badly): rah!

2008-03-01T17:56:00.003+08:00

to believe in myself, & to believe in what life has in place for me. i'll give it my all, with no regrets.

perhaps i may be disappointed at the end of the day,
i'm glad i tired, i'm thankful for the experience.

a decision i'm proud of (:

2008-02-28T19:27:00.003+08:00

at the end of the day, i'm laughing at how irrational i had been. for the past two years i guess. feel like giving myself a tight slap, or maybe a knock on the wall (:

alas, its over! after spending so many days straightening out my thoughts, it feels really great. to feel normal & perhaps just purely being on the right track. HAHA. why do i feel that i am not making sense here? & i think i am rambling now, i shall stop.

take a long deep breath & start anew.
i'm starting over, watch me.

2008-02-26T21:32:00.003+08:00

上天跟我开了一个很大的玩笑，or maybe thats what i think. despite it being a known fact thats its ~~wrong~~ not right, it still occured as if it was absolutely right. & the worst thing is that i used to secretly hope that something would come out of it. come to think of it, i'm really naive. or perhaps, taking things too seriously. though more tears are shed than laughters are heard, i'm glad it all happened. but please, not a second time. cos i dont think i can take it.

the chunk of words up there wasn't meant to be comprehensible(:
except myself, i think.

seems like i can never be your guy.

2008-02-25T22:32:00.002+08:00

orientation two was great! (:
the only thing that sucks is that lesson resumes tomorrow ):

my ankle's hurting again, and my voice is damm SEXAYEE.
suffered from head concussion today while playing the slide on water plus soap game. i think i will either become SMARTER, DUMBMER, or BLURER ): or maybe i will lose some memory.

i dont know whether i want to remember , or not.
it hurts to forget & to remember.
i want something that doesnt hurt so bad. please?

it isn't suppose to feel this way, anymore.
what the hell is wrong with me?

2008-02-23T08:48:00.003+08:00

the game of life?

perhaps thats how it all works, the fact that not all hardwork pays off. & because we chose to consciously deceive our minds, telling ourselves its not true, hoping to prove it right, the hurt gets deeper. it grew so deep that every smile is inching towards a tear drop. it grew so deep that the mouth chose to let the hugs do the talking. it grew so deep that no one dare to stare straight into another's eye, afraid to see the disappointment in them, thats would most probably add on to our very own. it isnt easy to keep up a bravefront, but for the morale, you wont see my tear.

thankyou teachers, fac comm members, J1 batch & athena, for making everything so memorable x3 we're proud of ourselves because no matter what happens, we fly our flag high. thats the way it should be, isnt it?

there are things out there which i think there isnt a need to know. i know i am ignorant (:

不疯疯癫癫，怎么掩饰？

2008-02-18T19:30:00.004+08:00

我是一个没勇气的人
带着小小年纪的天真
想你一定是
不敢转身脸上微笑
心舍不得

我没有莎士比亚的天份
写出我们的喜怒哀乐
但在这一刻
写了一个完结篇
失去了你

smart me didnt wear contacts today (: if not right, i wonder how it would survive staying in my eye, after all the thorough cleansing. in front of gwee, on the bus, at home. RAHHHHH. hate this feeling man.

in hope to mean so much, to find the hope dashed.
to feel so helpless, and the only thing i can say is
sorry.

2008-02-14T18:43:00.002+08:00

(:

cause this feeling is beyond words.

2008-02-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

oops, i shouldnt be here. so many things undone. i'm like so dead, dont know what to expect, dont know what to do, dont know what's going to happen. it just feels like moment before one goes for a bungee jump. RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. am i supposed to feel this way? -.- haha! i am so amused by myself, and i think gwen&gwee are amused by me too! PAISEHH AHHS.

my adrenaline rush is killing me.

2008-02-09T07:57:00.000+08:00

this is weicheng! & the silly balloon is done by wayne! (:

I CAUGHT THIS IN ACTION! (: ohno! what if jonathan is my angel! 0.0

cousins coming over later! & we're watching the movie with my laogong in it! SO EXCITING! (: still not in the CNY mood, despite the trip to 春到河畔 at singaporeriver yesterday O.O perhaps thats how it feels to grow older and older, reality took away the emotion called joy, and we lost the ability to feel truly happy at times when we should. i want to be a small kid again....

2008-02-06T21:58:00.000+08:00

here's wishing everyone: went to school this morning, was feeling very nua throughout. tried to get high, but failed ): had quite a lot of fun mending the class stall! we sold muah chee&chocolate fondue. I x3 doing the muah chees! (:

pictures from today!

my favourite class banner!

捞鱼生!
i thought i looked dumb

i realised i was wrong. HAHAHA! -.-

didnt go desiree's house today ): went home to sleep instead. feeling much better already(: ate porridge for reunion dinner, isnt that sad ): RAHHH. honestly, its the FIRST time i actually dont feel excited about chinese new year. i only know that we dont have to report to school for 4 consecutive days. sometimes, i feel that i can no longer control my emotions anymore.

2008-02-05T23:17:00.000+08:00

my theory just proved right!
when emotional status goes down, probability of falling sick goes up (application of mathematical concepts)

survived 5 hours of tutorial and 1 hour of lecture today.
aint i pro (: sore throat was pretty bad ): suffered from MAJOR headache early in the morning, feels like the entire head's exploding to million pieces. ohwells. pop-ed down six panadols during math lecture, sorry ):

mr tan woke me up during chem tutorial by saying, "shuhui, do you want to go to the washroom to do some washing up?" ultra paisehh ah, really wanted to concentrate. headache was horrible, and i fell off my chair -.-

watched movie with gwee&gwen after school! and i received my valentine's day present! THANKYOU! the eeyore is SUPER cute! (:

okayy, my mum just confirmed that i'm running a fever ):
SHITZZZ. i dont want to miss school tomorrow.

2008-02-04T22:04:00.000+08:00

为什么这样子？ )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

piakkkk.
& my heart got owned.

HAHA! -.- (i wished it was a joke man)
then i probably be laughing and not fighting back tears now.

dating gwee tomorrow! sorry ah, have to wait one hour for me >.<

曾经，我怀疑自己神经病
现在，我证实自己已经神经病很久了。

2008-02-03T19:23:00.000+08:00

my laogong's at Bugis junction now.
and why am i here? ankle "(

damm stressed over ILP, pearlynee and i are like spewing vulgarities over msn. ultra hilarious. economics is CHAOJI abstract&vague please. way too much assumptions taken into consideration. RAHHHHHHHH. i am going bongkus already.

shall upload my golden mickey soon, when everything's complete.

what my life would be,
holding you close to me.

~~taking the easy way out~~

2008-02-02T07:44:00.000+08:00

当相识成为
好像认识（又好像不怎么认识）
算了吧。

i wont believe a single ~~shit~~ thing you say anymore.
you dont know how much it hurt, to hear the truth from someone else.
so much for all the 将心比心

i dont see you, i see a liar.

2008-01-31T18:51:00.000+08:00

我真的觉得自己很傻，很笨，很白痴。
执著于不应该执著的，认真于不必要的认真。

每次都很痛，却不懂得避开。
努力往前跨一小步，却摔得比上一次还严重。
累积的失望，足以填满心房。

JAY CHOU'S NEIGHBOUR IS MY CLASSMATE!! -.- I'M SERIOUS!

m ncomplete wthot yo.

2008-01-30T21:33:00.001+08:00

~~feels as if fighting a loosing battle~~

nothing's working, what used to work no longer work anymore.
i need to stand tall to see you in the crowd,
i want to stay strong, to cheer you on.
wo hui de

feels like,
browsing through the television programmes aimlessly.
to stop at one particular channel that caught my attention, only to find out that i would not be able to understand a single shit.

2008-01-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

好希望自己有能力不去在乎，我所那么在乎的。

学着忘记，已经被忘记的自己

2008-01-26T09:33:00.000+08:00

ankle was hurting like hell yesterday night, decided not to see the sinseh cos dont know how exactly to describe the pain to him. goodness sake la, its been like two weeks already, and its still hurting like nobody's business. whats worse is about all the things that i've to give up, which i defnitely will regret forever. war games (hwachong's tradition?) , class performance for campfire (class bonding), campfire night (orientation highlight), faculty dance sessions(i just sit there like a piece of shit), east coast park (first ct outing) ,first pe lesson (although all they did was just running, but at least it was class thing). & the pain i'm keeping it inside, pretending nothing's wrong.

one of my eye-lash fell out this morning & i made a wish.
let it heal, i beg you.

2008-01-23T21:10:00.000+08:00

pierced right through so badly that it bled like hell.

给我力量，走出所有的回忆。
我以为不可能有一天会变成可能，但我逐渐认为不可能永远会是不可能的。怪我没有勇气，去突破这不可能的事, 因为我不想到头来什么都不是。能够遇见你已经是很不可思议了。虽然所有知道的人，包括自己，认为这是个错误的感觉，我却觉得它比什么都来得还要真。

曾经，那么深。曾经，确又那么深刻。
今天下了决心，不再—————

对不起，我吓坏你了。
不会了。

我出回__了！

2008-01-22T23:12:00.000+08:00

i wonder if economics can suggest a definition to worthless.

to feel worthless, isnt worthless afterall.
because it still carries a meaning to it.

a worthless meaning.

2008-01-21T22:16:00.000+08:00

gave up on physics tutorial, which is why i'm here.

Mr How:
have you ever loved someone, more than you love yourself?

look at my passwords, ankle, studytable;
you would most probably know.

the result of taking a small step forward ==>
days of disappointment(up till now).

2008-01-20T12:34:00.001+08:00

saw MR HAN this morning! he was having breakfast with his family at the market near my house. he was wearing a nike cap, so i couldnt figure out whether he shaved his hair, since he went for reservice >.< the baby boy was SOO CUTE!

went out for dinner with my CT yesterday, and i love lina's ROOFTOP! great place for relaxation and emo-ation as well ") hanging with OG later, cos we're celebrating jonhu's birthday! HAHA! busybusy weekend! havent touched any of my tutorials, except maths. AWWW MAN!

disappointed, but what can i say/do.
不能退后也无法向前走
RAHHH, save me.

2008-01-19T08:03:00.000+08:00

i love lydia's cousin, DOMINIC! he's so adorable, too bad he is only nine >.< makes me laugh my head off, like i have never did for such a long time already, sadly. HAHA! ehhh wahlao. i was so malu-ated at nanyang fruit's stall yesterday. i went up to the uncle and asked if there is DURIAN JUICE -.- and gwee was laughing at me okayy! it was meant to be a bet between the two of us, and obviously i won, since there's no durian juice ") but its was really dumb la!

perhaps its time to sit down and do some serious thinking,
about all that i'm getting myself into.

i think i need to know myself better.

2008-01-17T21:53:00.000+08:00

shall save some space (in) shuhui's stomach! WOW, thats so cool! alliteration all the way, if only the "in" wasn't there -.- yupp. going back to ny tomorrow with gwee, so there must be enough space in my stomach try out the canteen stalls ")

dramafest auditions today. the people in my class are DAMM DRAMA please! if only there's interclass dramafest or something. HAHA! linus and his indian accent, and charles with the american one -.- I LIKE MY CLASS! sexy worh!

ohgreat. there's so much to be done, and i've yet to open my school bag -.-
this is such a random post.

2008-01-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

the weather's so unpredictable, just like you.
i've already lost the ability to predict the weather, i don't know when to expect sunshine and when to prepare for a thunderstorm. its like, you didnt expect it to rain today, and now you're drenched from head to toe, holding on to a bottle of suntan lotion.

so am i supposed to bring along an umbrella wherever i go?
to either shy away from the sun or hide from the rain.

i don't already know, you know that.
忽冷忽热的感觉很痛苦, and the word is torturous.

i already booked the day for you, and you promised.
pleasepleaseplease don't don't turn up, cos you'll just dig a hole in my heart.

2008-01-13T21:34:00.000+08:00

low morale, don't feel like blogging about it.
sometimes i really do wonder if whatever thats going to happen next is already planned.

& why does everything fall so out of place?

i want to believe in something,
that does not betray.

2008-01-09T22:33:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry for being such a noob.

maybe you're right, i shouldnt even have tried. when i try so hard to push myself, it all tumbles. who talks about dreams when it can never be fulfilled? & who had the ***king courage to come up with the new year resolution?

what an memorable day. the day where i picked up courage to do something i looked forward to, and also the day where all that courage is eaten up. heartache literally, and i finally understood that following your heart might not be the best thing ever(because it could be the worst) like hell.

it just tumbles.
& came crashing down.

2008-01-04T22:31:00.000+08:00

orientation games for the past two days have been GREAT! love hwachong's school spirit to the power of twenty-six (haha! thats my og number) enjoyed all the singing, dance, cheering sessions. everyone's very high. my throat's hurting like crazy, please let it heal! if not no voice to KBOX tomorrow >< og26's a great bunch of people, everyone's like crazy/dumb/extremely high. eileen and cindy fit into the "ren bu ke mao xiang" theory please, mad at times too!

took PCME instead. (not a big suprise though) after the teacher went throught the A-level syllabus, i knew i would not enjoy taking biology in JC. its way too cellular/molecular, viruses and bacteria are a big no to me. biology appeals to me because i will get to know about how things work in mammals, the respiratory/digestive/repro systems. but since they have taken it out of the syllabus, its really byebye to biology now. EMBRACE PHYSICS! haha! -.-

我希望你知道自己在做什么
我更希望能搞清楚自己的情绪
不想到头来还是回到了原点

2008-01-02T21:55:00.000+08:00

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! feels so weird to alight at hwachong's stop. reached damm early, cos i expected a jam. (half right only) the jam started around 6.50am, when i reached school at 6.35 -.- wearing nanyang uniform, and yet not turning up at nygh feels really weird. the talks were boring, much more boring than Special Interest Lectures. the teachers seem to enjoy stressing us out on the first day of school with "expectations" and non-stop highlighting of scholarships+universities. aiyohh! gwen pinched me twice to keep me awake, and there's two BIG blue blacks now! -.-

orientation among the orientation groups was ") not as bad as i had expected it to be. was quite high during cheering sessions, and we kept cheering"GOOOO NANYANG" or "南洋南洋顶呱呱" during the cheers, couldnt switch in time -.- yuhui was right, me and ruiqi in the same OG would be madness. HAHA!

bus was packed like sardines "( reached home at 7.45pm O.O dead beat. but my mum said that i cant sleep early, cos brown rice takes a longer time to digest -.-

TODAY IS MUAH CHEE CUM FRIED FOOD DAY RIGHT! (over at nanyang) ><

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得觉
hen kai xin worh! >.<

ohh! this Chines male teacher was going to give a talk (auditorium was very noisy) so he was like,
"世上什么距离最远?! "
everyone : (stone)
我就在你面前，而你却没有注意到我！
TIAN AH -.-

2008-01-01T02:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (pull your ear)

some words worked like magic
& some words worked like miracle.

CHENGXIN THE FORTUNE-TELLER! ehh! its more like DOCTOR, saying all the SYMPTOMS! -.-

whatever that's in the past, is history.

some parts of history repeats itself, some don't.

& i wished it would be a good year for everyone of us.

let the good ones repeat, and the not-so good ones be historic.

2007-12-31T09:51:00.000+08:00

哪里有失落哪里就有爱

& i wished i was a little more ready---

for all that will never be the same anymore.

当时光绞缠在一起成说不清的情绪

我却只要那段最美的回忆

2007-12-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

THANKYOU JUNIORS FOR THE WONDERFUL FAREWELL! 会想念你们的！x333333

the MARCH to chengxin's house! we won the treasure hunt! WHOOSH!SEC ONES WON (too) ! followed by sectwos! (no secthrees,because they cheated!)look at your left, then your right. (try not to laugh) us! with the ensemble jacket! ") & viven ran to the back -.-
vivien -.- chengxin & her long hand!what do you expect from secthrees! i THINK i recognise who they are -.- (i shall think again)

i'm in the same OG as gwen! ") ruiqi, kaihui & yuchen as well! YAYE! at least i dont feel so paranoid now >.< four more days to school ... ...

2007-12-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

CHENGXIN'S THEORY OF EVOLUTION (of DIAO-ED face)

introducing the common: -.-

the double eyed-lid: =.=

so she wondered, and wondered, and came up with this!

and guess whats next?!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! (except marianne, of course) cos hers is "special" , MARI CHRISTMAS MARI! >.<

its just too big a change for me, seriously.

i'm afraid of changes, and i do mean changes.

its far more disturbing to see the change in myself.

& yet say i cant do anything about it.

这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下

问自己习惯了吗

2007-12-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

not exactly sure what has gotten into me, spent today's working hours staring into blank space. wasn't concentrating at all, must be all that's flooding into my mind continuously. of course, my bookings suffered >.<

你最近还好吗？

because the moment the tap is turned on,
everything's flooding in.
& water's gushing out like hell.

2007-12-20T16:31:00.000+08:00

i'm still blown by the cold wind which followed after yande's random joke of the day. it was totally off the track! -.-

WHAT DOES A SAMURAI DO?!

HE SUMARISES!

best man. haha! had a full blown dosage of jokes (notfunny,random, ra____,sick) during class chalet. slept at around 3am, and rushed off to work at 1pm. everyone's still the same, i think. couldnt figure out something, but i guess it was never meant for me to find out. ohwells.

anywayy, my brother came back yesterday! ") he looked just like how he was when he was three years old! BOTAK! haha!

the unspoken disappointment

2007-12-17T00:17:00.000+08:00

flu+sore throat+headache = sick.

please let me feel better tomorrow morning, & regain my voice. if not i cant go to work "( miss my brother alot "( hope he can adjust to army life really soon. dinner feels weird without him, and not fighting with him over the computer feels pretty awkard too.

i saw the tear in my mum's eye. she was saying that three to four years down the road, we (my brother &i) would lead our own life, & the time where we can spend together as a family would be greatly minimised. i thought i wont cry, i was wrong. now that gor has gone for NS, its only the beginning.

it seems like everything has taken for a change.
& we can never go back to what we once were.

2007-12-14T09:59:00.000+08:00

想守护着这个城堡城堡里却守护着另一片天空

stole it from jing, who stole it from georgina >.<

anyway, my brother is going NS tomorrow "(
its going to feel really awkard.
utterly disappointed in myself, or maybe you. so everything's just a facade huh? i've learnt to be very frank, what about you? its no point saying how i feel when whatever i say is deemed as lies. i dont get it at all la. i've always been the background, haven't i? its tiring, trying to interpret everything alone, drawing conclusions which i am not sure of. i'm dumb, but dont treat me like a fool.
what the hell is going on?

2007-12-13T02:21:00.000+08:00

cong lai dou shi zhe yang

dont know whether i should laugh or cry.
because it went so deep, straight into the veins.

losing touch of whatever that's going on,
is one of the worst feeling ever.

2007-12-11T18:25:00.000+08:00

touched down this morning at 0003.

Hongkong was x333

i asked if i could hug, he didnt refuse ")

2007-12-04T23:39:00.000+08:00

did some calculation & realised that i could earn 1000bucks if i work till christmas ") THATS SO COOL! (provided i dont get fired -.- ) yeahh, most probably giving some to my parents & saving up the rest. almost done with packing & my dad's worried for his fishes, and as for my mum, her flowers. (or rather, potted plants) as for me, there seem to be nothing at all, good or bad, i dont know.

it seems as though, the more you try to erase something, the harder it is removed

&realised you wrote it with pen.

do you treat the people around you just like the way you read horoscopes?

somethings are just meant to fade into the background, just like these few sentences. because you said i chose to fade into it, what else can i say? trying so hard to prove myself&you wrong all went down in the wrong directions. there are many things you never knew, that i wished you knew, but i didnt have the courage to let you know. simple as that, its still me, the feeble one, who couldnt manage a single thing right.

back on 10th ")
BYE.